Misfortune Cookies

It's been one of those days, so when I got home it seemed like a good idea to binge on fortune cookies leftover from the last time we ordered Chinese food.

Here are my fortunes, with my editorial comments in italics:

• Your qualities overshadow your weaknesses. I had been worried about that. 
• Your hard work is about to pay off. Bring it. 
• You will make a change for the better within the year. By the end of THIS year? As in a few weeks from now? Holla!  
• An unexpected visitor will bring you good blessings. Let me know when you're coming and I'll have refreshments ready. 

Because I wanted to know if there are ever negative sayings in fortune cookies, I googled it and came up with these "misfortunes:"

• The words "watoo-owan-koha" will bring bad luck and premature death to all who read them. 
• You regard free speech not as a right, but a never-ending obligation.
• You have a big future in food service. 
• Act natural. Don't turn around. 
• If you live a long life, it will be a remarkable testament to your friends' and relatives' self control.